Whooah! What a day it's been! I was free-wheeling about town this morning,
paying attention, and was hit in my core with powerful signs and synchronicity.

First up in my travels was a colourful wall poster on a store shelf that read:

"Do what you love." So I decided to do just that by sharing here on the OH forum.

Second up in my travels was a doormat displayed outside a gift shop with a picture of two owls (twin flames), one on either side of these words:

"Hooo's There?"

I was contemplating that question as I headed to a beach bordered by large mansions with spectacular gardens on a hill overlooking the seaside. I heard a woman speaking angrily, so I glanced over and saw her scolding her dog, a black Labrador, who had apparently been running wild and free in her garden, but was now cowering before her. "YOU COME WHEN I CALL! DO YOU HEAR ME?" she commanded forcefully.

On hearing those words, a rush of images flooded through me from past lives. Images of a ruler who sat on a high and mighty throne, commanding obedience at whatever the cost. I instantly realized that I've attached to subtler threads of that conditioning which I've carried into this lifetime so I can cut them loose. I saw clearly that I expect others to do what I want and say, at times. As that realization dawned, I connected back to the question on the doormat, "Hooo's There?" I answered, "Part despot," as the lyrics from Coldplay's Viva La Vida began to swim through my head:

"I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own...

Hear Jerusalem bells a-ringing
Roman cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
I know St Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world."

"Sweeping the streets I used to own." Yes, indeed, I sit on a much humbler throne nowadays. You can't get much humbler than a raised toilet seat, which I use to compensate for weakness in my right leg and upper body, symbolic of my guilt and sorrow for misusing my power and causing suffering to others in past lives. I have been conscious of the connection between my current physical disempowerment and guilt from past lives for several years now, but I didn't make the connection to how this karma plays out in certain behaviorisms. I feel an urgency around letting this distortion go, but in saying that, I'm aware of how demanding I can be of myself.

Last week, I saw a Great Blue Heron walking lightly in the water. I felt its presence as a message from divine benevolence to walk gently and patiently with myself and others. I'm connecting that message to today's reflections in the outer mirror. I can't command, control, and force letting go. I can only let go when I surrender and soften into all those twisted, gnarly, broken bits inside. As Open often reminds us, there's always a truth behind every distortion. I'm feeling the truth behind misusing power and authority is true empowerment of aligned soul sovereignty. I hear you, St. Peter.

x Cathy