Hi Marye,

I feel you there. I have noticed that with family there seems to be a much more complex web of patterns involved than work colleges for example. It takes a much subtler approach, and sometimes unwinding that web can mean a mixture of a few different soul rays and not just ray 1.

Can I share with you a little of my journey? As a child I found myself being pushed into a box a lot too. And because of my desire to please I actually became very good at blending into whatever situation I was put in. I almost didn't notice that some of these situations weren't me any more. Then in my early 20's I met a lady who encouraged me to stand in my truth, for example that I would sometimes say 'no' when people asked something of me, and I began to become more aware of my own energy frequency. But then the pendulum swung the other way and I would express my truth with my family, sometimes in very challenging and confrontational ways, which of course closed people down and lead to lots of angry exchanges.

It has been a tough on for me to learn to become unattached to whether people understand me or not, and to accept other peoples truths even when they are totally not with mine and have an impact on my own life. It took a great deal of ray 2 and 4.

At the moment I'm learning and refining the energy I bring to each discussion - that however I express it can be done with compassion, which means honoring my own truth and the other persons. It's hard sometimes, to continually refine my expression, testing the water with how I express, feeling the flow, being compassionate to other peoples distortions and knowing when to call them on it and when not to. I have learnt that the most important thing is not necessarily the words you use, but the energy you bring to the expression.

So, I would say for you, yes the ray 1 is important, so that you use that will power to stand in your truth. But, I would blend it with some other rays too, particularly the ray 4 diplomat and even some ray 2. Ray 1 and ray 2 seem like opposite ends of the spectrum, but I've noticed for me that it's actually possible to express both at the same time. You use ray 1 to stand and be clear in your own truth, not letting yourself be controlled, but blend it with ray 2 when you're expressing so as to accept the other persons truth without needing to change it. This way you express compassionately. And ray 4 is then used to harmonize the two in the way you express yourself.

So when you say that you find your family dynamics difficult to transform, I would ask you if they really need transforming? There seems to be an attachment to the outcome. Perhaps the only work that can be done is to refine our own expression and the energy that we give off. Then we can watch the ripples our expression send into the outside world and notice the mirror coming back to us.

Warm wishes,
Richard