that first bit is wild, reminds me: was on a break but had to get back into the fray. kept having dreams about a vast, swift-moving river. at first too scared to get back in so avoided. next river dream did get in but found current too fast so went back to shore. a fella in the stream commented i was a strong swimmer but i didnt believe him; ive never felt strong. so much stress over past year i stopped rememembering my dreams till recently. one of first dreams i remember is a swift, turbulent river, but this time im calm confident and hop in fearlesslessly, popping onto the far bank effortlessly, "going with the flow". Today it happened: i had breakdown? breakthrough? both? a mirror got held up to me and my life and it crumbled, and i cracked. and now everything looks so different. im hesitant, this is so new and what if i fall back down there again? somehow though its not so scary anymore. dont want to hope too much but i think i might be ok...better than maybe. like finally waking up on february 3rd...gratitude to you💜💜💜