Both Jan and I have been drawn to the statement that you, Open, made: “it is the questions that raise consciousness”. So off we went down that rabbit hole, unaware we even carried with us the baggage of: the intention of needing a desired outcome. Finally after bumping off the walls of the warren and coming to a place of egoic exhaustion, we realized that the question already was and had always been there to discover. It simply took us to see the forest for the trees. It just popped up and laughingly said “Here I am”.
It was synchronicity that revealed the question. We had felt called to perform a ceremony to honour the energy, space and soul of our new yurt. Named Anam Cara (soul friend), long before she materialized, we were pulled to read from the book 'Anam Cara' by John O'Donohue. What was chosen by each of us was 'randomly' selected by just opening the book to where we were drawn to do so. Jan read the question: Is the unknown your closest companion?”
Pondering this to depth had us let go of the chronic 'push the rock up to the top of the hill mentality'. With this surrender came a realization that we shared the birthing of a profound commitment: that of saying yes to mindfully being in the here and now and saying yes to our highest excitement while watching all unfold. We saw at a visceral level what you are guiding all of us to do which, to me, is to follow this unfolding and let every experience land in us no matter what – welcome what arises – eh?
This has been a huge awakening for me as I had been pushing life... way too much wasted energy! Now the energy expended is no longer directed on the desire for an outcome and instead there is a profound 'yes' to the flow. What has been surrendered is the need to control our future for fear it may bring us to our knees if we don't subdue it and control it. This new sense of vulnerability actually feels 100% more secure than all the armour that, before, I had surrounded myself in. We still may be brought to our knees -- which we are open to. What a paradox!
It is curious to me that after twenty – five years of teaching T'ai Chi I am just waking up to a whole new depth of the meaning of one of its tenets: 'one only truly leads by following'. This includes even the notion of leading.
So we are now actually on our bicycle for the first time, somewhat wobbly and apprehensive and yet alive and with the excitement of riding with, our closest companion, the unknown. The real danger is that of looking over our shoulders for the 'how and why'. So it's eyes on the road and enjoy the ride. Distortions will be met with the 'yes' of exploration.
Thank you Open for bringing Jan and me the gift of Divinicus 'A Path Between Worlds' levels I & II. The seeds you showed us to sow have germinated and fresh green leaves are now pushing through the soil into the light.