Thanks for the clarification Open. Catherine, I also often contract with the question of 'how are you?'. It seems I kind of have the same conditioning as you have. I tend to always keep the peace. I thinks it's good to sometimes show other people I'm on the edge. At least that way I'm being authentic. And if I can accept that, then maybe I can accept a lot more about myself. And isn't the whole spiritual experience about being absolutely truthful and realistic about any situation? Great to read you're more and more able to tap into the joy and peace at the heart of your pain. And even if we're not always able to do that we can always respond to people that we're exactly where we're supposed to be. Don't answer them if they ask where that is... *biggrin*