Thank you Open - this all hits home so much!!!

Over the last several months I have been feeling intensely triggered when people tell me what I should be doing, or how I should behave or think. My mind goes completely blank like a white screen and have a very visceral reaction leading to a need to physically flee the scene.

I notice I often feel this blankness in my mind, making it challenging to concentrate, focus or remember anything. This also contributes to my fear of being in the world because I find it so challenging and exhausting to relate to the sharpness of the intellectual.

I definitely drop into my body constantly...just feeling and not at all in my head. I can see the disintegration there,

Your hint made me laugh as my husband has started a blog and is exploring all these concepts that get him really fired up and wants to talk with me about it - which includes digging into how I come to my conclusions, what is my thought process, what supports the way I am being, living etc. It has been really driving me bonkers and I have just been insisting on only speaking from the feeling and not being able to speak to it all intellectually. Eeks....guess I haven't wanted to look in that mirror and see what I was invited to explore. It feels important that I maintain awareness there especially when the strong visceral reactions are happening... Noticing synchronicity at those times is not existent right now.

I get what you are saying - it feels like a relief actually...because I can see where the disconnect is happening...integration may take a while - but I can see how I haven't trusted in the intellect and have cut myself off from it.