Dear Anastasia and Margaret,

Through this thread and the sharing I feel like I have experienced a breakthrough.

Two new learning have burrowed their way into my being or rather have started to sprout now as the conditions are right. One is the concept of ' Everybody is the doing the best they can' . This concept comes from me releasing self judgement about not medicating my schizophrenic brother sooner. I have been in conflict with my Mom who was and is still in deep denial of his illness. And even though meds have started (and are working well) ,I found I was attacking myself for not starting them sooner. And in that allowing and releasing myself ,I recognized how I have also donned armour and judged someone from work who seems to be triggered endlessly by my presence. I find myself getting very tight around her and fighting her judgement of methrough multiple jugdgements of my own . A couple of days ago though something landed and I just 'saw' how she was doing the best she could. And how my judgements were constricting me . And there was an opening and an influx of deep love and acceptance of the situation for what it is -Judgement,Frustration ,anger ,betrayal and all.

They are still layers of feeling to go through in both of the above situations. Even after breaking through one layer ,I find there are many layers to go through. I suspect some of it is karmic - I may have been wrongly tormented before just because I was bringing light into situations and I have developed a deep fear and frustration around it . Having felt the breakthrough once though ,I now feel like I have a signpost for further exploration .

Thank you Margaret and Anastasia !

lots if Love ,

Megha