It's been about three years now. Been having to figure it out on my own. Help of Jesus. Sacrificing unhealthy habits gets me my most epiphany drops. You'd know. Gave up porn,hard rock,meat and dairy,etc,and man did i get a blessing. All the sudden i'm guided to it. I pushed everyone away a a few years back. Everyone. I mean,we're cool,but they know better than to ask if i want to hang out anymore. Now i'm fully aware of the Firmament,ice wall,flat earth,Satanic cycle we're in. I'm just now getting over being angry,like i had to confront people. That never goes like you expect. I end up feeling guilty for being rude. No fun. I carry that shit around. I'm a social chameleon,and i do fit in anywhere. My Spirit chose to be in the crazy life. Did a total of ten plus years in prison. I loved it. We're pre planned Beings down here. I know i dont have complete control. I'm rollin with passengers. Never know when and how long some asshole will show up. Stir the pot,bounce,which leaves me holdin the bag. Not cool. I am blessed. Even when its bad,and a Glimpse of Hell to get me clean and sober,that was bad,even then,i come out of it just fine. I clean up well. Glimpse was no joke. Today i hold a lot of pride in that experience. I was being led to the bridge over and over. Hell is a wild ride. Replayin your worst nightmare over and over. Slight variations cause i was catching on. I was callin for Jesus,and i swear thats what saved me. Told the demons,"Strike me down and ill only come back stronger,like Obi Wan Kenobi". They played with me by using ESP. I assumed it was everyone around,yet it was clearly in my head. I was even hit by two inch silver needles(sowing size)by the dozens. They'd bounce off and evaporate. 

I'd appreciate a little encouragement. If you need a few bucks for it,i'm up for that,no problem. I'll pay to get on the right track with confidence. What works recently is smoking lots of weed all day(i'm a landscaper)and not thinking about anything. Auto pilot. Keeps the anger down. I get to work and life is what it is. Good. I smile through the crazy. Now we're in fuckin Babylon again. I'm in Portland Oregon. My Spirit has a sick sense of humor. It enjoys pain. If youre a catalyst then hook a brother up,please. I'm tired of havin to figure every darn thing out for myself,and my Spirit wont let me fully understand how to use a computer or my phone. This frustration is worse than pain. Oh. I'm punished immediately when i do something wrong. Its well known why. I get three back for the one act. Sometimes four. Maybe the next will be five. Who knows how it works. Found out Elohim and that whole meaning. I dont care,anymore🤠,i just want to watch the show go down. Question:Do you believe you are Spiritually protected? I believe i am. With everything that is happening to me,including getting my health back and being in top shape,there is no way it all  happened for nothing. I'm like Benjamin Button. I'm gettin younger. 

thank you for any advice