You're right, I may be at the first gateway also. Im not familiar enough with the concept here to be sure. Theres so many new meanings I have never given a thought on them. I have to study it more. But afterall I dont mind where Im exactly, I just want to grow to be a better person and know how to live right for me and everything around us.

About making choises: I try to make the right choises, ofcourse. They are no more guided by me, but by the the pull that I have towards them. I mentioned my studies and there the shift went so that before I wanted to study because of the possible title and achievements. I sure had good intentions to make the world a bit better place by doing the best I could intellectually. Now the reason for studies have changed to a feeling of a pull towards the studies. I feel its the right thing to do, no matter where it finally leads. I also have hobbies where I had goals and during last year I dropped the goals out of them and im just enjoying the moments I have with them.

Anyway, this is all new to me and I have to be tested in many situations to be sure.

Joel