I try not to intellectualize but there is confusion surrounding contemplation and understanding. Lately I have this general feeling of slipping away, of not engaging with incoming energies in an aligned way. If you asked me how the flow is going, all I could say is: I don't know. There is a general lack of intuition, conviction and feeling. Meditation doesn't really seem to do anything anymore. Fear is coming back stronger. If I don't engage with it all, it feels like I've just wasted another day and if I do engage with it, it leads to a strong sense of 'needing to figure it out'. There is an increasing pressure surrounding the pingpong of creating what you fear and not creating from the soul. Anything I do seems to fall under either one of those categories.

I may have hit a new hurdle or maybe it's TW energies keeping me in check. The money situation isn't really helping out. Do I really wait until the last moment and trust an aligned life will present itself? This came up in a different post and I read your reaction but to compare these situations, your path involves teaching and training people for the shift; you had already started doing that when the money ran out and it is surely understandable for benevolence to act in support to sustain you through it. Also, I would say the soul exchange is a fundamental element in this as well.

All I have going is 'makes art' , 'really dislikes the synthetic world' and 'done some inner work'. Is that truly enough to say I am living from the soul? I am no closer to seeing an aligned lifestyle than a year ago,