Hi Open,

Glad you posted this. I'm certainly not close to being ready, if ever, and yet reading this anew I feel even more inspired by it. Really got the tingles at "self-acceptance and self-love". Getting closer. It feels like something to aspire to. Will I succeed? Not sure at this point; I buckle a lot and still need lots of help. But I'm starting to notice shifts here and there, and wee miracles...

Connecting with Avalonia. Becoming whale, my breath so long and deep that pressure doesn't bother me so much. Realising that whale still feels the pressure, it just knows how to adapt to it. Filling the room with my spirit. Taking up space. Spinning the torus until I could see a faint light above my crown, like the sun through dense fog. And stuff from my past is finally coming up. Also really seeing how everything happening in my life is just my sh#$ coming back to me, and I'm not much different than my tormenters (...the demons are really angels, setting you free from your life.) Motivation to change. Really eager to embody Yeshua and not hate those who hurt me.

Huge challenge is regulating the anxiety and mind loops, and overcoming the shame and disempowerment. But yesterday right in the middle of it I reembered to slow the breath, and for me that is big. It's terrible when I'm in it but it's feeling more and more worth it.

Maybe it's presumptuous of me, maybe I'm not cut out, but the thought of getting to that place and helping others, it brings on more tingles. Hope it's not just my hero complex. Cause right now I don't feel like no hero. And Im being humbled enough to get over that ego trap.

Huge hurdles and a long arduous climb but I'd like to see how far I can go. At least I'm not alone☺️

Much gratitude and love, Barb🙏