Hi Open,

This article speaks a lot to my current inquiries. Thank you for sharing your perspectives 🙏

I have been watching the different faces of goddess energy within me, how distorts it is and how am I getting identified with it.

Distorted goddess energy~ A week ago, My partner and I were invited to a friend's house for dinner where the host described his experience of travelling without a phone, money and any comforts ,and getting the supports from people all over the world. The story was quiet inspirational and I was drawn literally into the charms like mesmerized and even wished to be his partner. Soon I recognized it isn't me .Yet, I didn't even feel a need to look in to my lower chakras. It was like losing ones own sovereignty and following the other blindly.

When we reached home , it was like regaining my power back, and I could see where I was lost. I was inspired by the strong will power of this masculine character and somehow felt to own it because I haven't seen that in myself completely. So my mind presented the easy options. I then started inquiring the energy behind it, who wants a strong paternal character to be accompanied with. I recollected situations in the past where I encountered with this energy. I called her Isis ,but somehow I don't feel it right ( I dont think she needs a companion), it is more like a distorted goddess energy.

​​​​Kali and me ~ Actually I'm curious to know how this distorted goddess energy is playing with my field. Since I have an identification of being a goddess , it's well rooted in me. The crown is still on my head. I tried to remove it a couple of times, some of its layers has gone, yet there is some investment.I can feel it throughout the day. This morning , I invited kali ,she is strong in my field and tried to melt down the crown . It's on fire now. Fascinatingly I'm not afraid of kali and I can see her alligned form and power.

Dreaming distorted goddess: I feel to share a dream I saw a few days ago. In the dream , a meeting was happening between a goddess and the tibetan at her temple. She was sitting on a high pedestal ,wrathful in appearance, literally demanding worship/ attention from the tibetan by exhibiting her arrogant nature. The tibetan was cool , I don't give a shit like attitude. His response was more like " you will learn". I believe this dream is also pointing to the distorted goddess energy in the field.

Affiliation with Ra - I do know I have a strong affiliation with the Ra energy, glimpses of Egyptian civilization pointed them. I removed an implant from my third eye which shaped like a crescent with a star during the 3 day retreat , which pointed straight back to Ra, being a servant in the past time.Just like you mentioned,most of the time my crown is dense, kind of a woolyness and brain fog which then creates an interia in life. Atleast I know what was it now. Before that , My belief was my crown is closed and it will get opened eventually if I do my practices. There wasnt room to think about an entity attack.

I've been observing myself as having an unconscious tendency to go with a group without even questioning. I suspect whether it also pointing to Ra aspects.

Karmic inquiry: Actually I'm being compassionate to myself. Accepting me as who I'm now. At this point the pride of goddess fades away. Being humble in my skin.I'm not trying for anything. Just being. Keeping the space Open for inquiry.

Namaste 🙏

Soumya