Honor and Integrity seem to be my deepest wound(s) and for which I seem to be holding on to deep levels of self judgement and guilt. I continue to sit with the energies, even as painful as they are, and keep being directed, or so it seems, to paths of self sacrifice and martyrdom to resolve these wounds. I do not accept these paths so it seems that the pain will never go away. I want to stand for truth and Integrity, (honor seems to be more of an intellectual/ego ideal), but I keep running into road blocks and no inquiry seems to be deep enough and the pain is way too great to sit in for long. I've tried over and over.