​Hi Open, thanks for your wise words.

What do you mean by "deep consciousness bodywork"?

Also, even though I've deepened my meditation a lot in the past weeks, there's some aspect I'm struggling with that I'd like to share. It's difficult to put into words but here we go!

I work composing and mixing music. My "default mode" for many years has been very rational and analytical, creating inner struggle and making me spend too much time finishing a song. That's because today we have endless tools and plugins that open up infinite possibilities to manipulate sound, so my mind is never satisfied.

But recently I've been consciously trying to FEEL more during work, and it's amazing how the choices become so clear and there is no attachment. However, to sustain that "feeling mode" I really really really have to do it consciously, and if I'm not attentive my rigid mind appears again and limits my choices. And then I surrender, meditate again... but as the day goes on, it gets increasingly difficult to sustain the feeling while working.

The gap between rational and feeling "modes" is enormous. In the first one I can't finish any song, in the latter it's plain easy. I wonder if this is normal... Will I ever be able to feel effortlessly? Why the feeling vanishes away, what causes it? How can I better integrate this new way of being? Any thoughts and suggestions from anyone are highly appreciated.

Thank you