Our beloved Isla Bonita is a particular location with very special energies, I'm not sure what's happening this time...

After the retreat we had last week, the energy flow in my field feels quite strong and a degree destabilising, as if my energy body is humming, sometimes I just burst into tears or start laughing without any reason, and sometimes I feel dizzy for a moment. When tuned inwards it feels as if the energy flow will break my body up, as well as feelings, the vibration is such as if the high-speed train crossing my field. Surprisingly and unexpectedly, it looks like another stage of the Kundalini activation. The first activation I encountered was few years ago, so this time it seems to be milder, and my ability to contain it so the integration can happen gradually.

The next morning after returning from this phenomenal retreat in La Palma I woke up with the sense that I am landing in someone else's "shoes". The feeling was very clear that my soul is not living yet the life as it is supposed to. Although constant change is the way to live for me, yet something else wants to be changed - clearly, the way I work is the target for that now... But the soul doesn't want to wait until the time is right, she wants it now, immediately! So, the first working day after La Palma I began with the question to myself - who am I in this and how can I be in another way? Let's try to come from the heart, but how to do that at a very mind-based work? Here I am watching myself in a conversation with colleagues (catching up on things after a good break) - how slowly words are leaving my mouth as if I forgot everything I knew before (the mind knows, but these things are foreign to the heart), I feel quite distant and disconnected from my coworkers, but they seem to be patient with my long breaks between words and my constant "ehmmm.." . After forty minutes of that phone call, I end up feeling a sickness in my stomach, like after spinning in a carousel. But that's okay, just need to accustom to that...

Also, upon return from La Palma there was an urge to jump straight into the expression, but as the words don't come easy to me (I will be missing our newly discovered way of communication with Joy ), just took the watercolour and, without any preconceived idea, began "pulling out" things from my beingness onto the paper. Here is the outcome - I look at my abstract "creation" afterward and try to more clearly understand myself. It's vibrant but very busy, containing (or holding) many separate fragments or areas, something is strongly vibrating, some areas are cracking, some links to the neuropathways (not sure old or new), but also the vitality and, maybe, growth is present.

Any reflections are welcome.

With vibrant love

Asya