Up until now, the mind was my super power. But now it feels like I'm deprived of this or more accurately I'm getting to know the limitations of manifesting with lower mind. I'm in middle ground. The old way doesn't seem to be working and I feel powerless to change the obvious and detrimental distortions that I can see. The new way only seems to be a dream yet. Do I just sit and accept the failure, the pain when even synchronicties seems to be saying I have chosen a comfortable and safe space. Even while saying this, I like to hear, yes the pain and confusion is the doorway. I don't have to do anything unless it comes from the heart. Between all this the mind is seeking new resolutions, or way out to change the narrative but posponting it at the same time. Maybe if I break through what I feel now, there will beore clarity on the subject. There is doubt yet when I look back, within even one year thre has been huge changes both in myself and the reality that I have created.

Anastasia, Thanks for your love, support and encouragement. It is felt. I felt vulnerable and regret later on putting out a somewhat private explorations out into the open. At that time it felt immediate to seek out a resolution. But I learned a lot from the sharing specially about synchronicties. They are reflecting both aligned and unaligned aspects within ourselves and not necessarily asking a decision. Open, your reply makes perfect sense. Its quite freeing for the mind to be relieved of its duties :D. The reason I think mind can't figure out a decision is, there are many other unconscious aspects that are influencing the decision making. Like projections for example. Sometimes the projections are very subtle that it passes you by without noticing thud becoming a blind spot. For example just now I was having a conversation with my mother where she was complaining about my brother and the burden she has taken. But she has assumed both of us in that role and have I not been aware I would have taken ownership of it very easily this feeling burdened myself. In love relationship though I'm the one who is projecting my neediness on to her. I'm being aware of how I'm trying unconsciously to fit her into a particular model. And all of these are influencing the decision making.

Thanks again for your valuable reflections

Love

Vimal