Hi Open,

This post has reintiated an important and deep exploration for me surrounding my love relationship which is still a long distance one. I have been noticing a sense of dissonance, a parting of waves of you will. Im becoming aware of some of the values between us is based on an old conciousness and I'm creating the same maternal dependency with her. In many ways she hands over power too. There has been many great synchronistic moments between us and I have already learned quite a lot mainly to do with neediness, boundaries, perfectionism, acceptance etc. But right now I'm getting mixed signals both from me as well as in the form of reflection from the universe.

A couple of days ago when the disconnection felt so real I felt to break up. The same day while I was driving I saw a picture of man and women on either side of the road and the message 'one year of seperation'. Later I went for a marriage reception of a dear friend. At the party, my new self has jumped out of the window and the old familer self has taken control. Fear of rejection, expression, being alone, yet it was a beautiful night of friendship and laughter. And later back at home, regret hit me of taking a decision that had no justification or reason but a vague feeling of rightness. Needless to say I patched things between us and I feel maybe I was afraid of walking the path yet again alone. And also it felt there were still many lessons yet to be learned between us which I'm ignoring by wanting certainty and answers right away. Perhaps I was afraid of some future catastrophe and I felt to shoulder the responsibility.

Today after reading the article I posed the question yet again and aksed the universe to show me. Moments later I'm checking my phone and it has opened in safe mode and a message ' Android has initiated safe mode because of an anomaly due to some latest app you have installed' . Behind the message the only thing I could see was an icon with a picture of her. I know what the latest app is. Later the first track the universe selected was yellow by coldplay a feeling of connection in the higher relams, the stars. Turn by travis came on next

I want to see what people saw
I want to feel like I felt before
I want to see the kingdom come
I want to feel forever young
I want to sing
To sing my song
I want to live in a world where I belong
I want to live
I will survive
And I believe that it won't be very long

I want to sing
To sing my song
I want to live in a world where I'll be strong
I want to live
I will survive
And I believe that it won't be very long

I was waiting for her outside an examination hall and right then a mass of people has left the hall painting a very intriguing picture for me, a parting of wave perhaps? I couldn't see a tinge of resonance of where I was, where I was heading and what I really wanted in my heart. But the mind has already started to fill up with a hundred questions.
But when I'm with her landscape shifts and feels positive like I havnt experienced before. She gets in the car and suddenly a romantic song comes up. I pick up the phone and it's her picture with time exactly 11:11. Meanwhile the kingfisher continuous to sit outside my window signaling a twin flame connection. Maybe I feel torn apart because I'm new to romantic relationships. I feel a lot better after writing these down. I see the road is challenging whichever way I choose. I know the flow doesn't care about if I'm in a relationship or not and what's important is unleashing of authentic beingness.

I welcome reflections if any.

Vimal <3