I can’t count the time of how long (or short) I am (was) in this. It lasts for some while but it feels like it lasts for ages. I’ll try to be short in writing this…

There is that feeling that I have lost myself once again. Though… We can only lose what we had or what we owned. If I own nothing, how can I lose that? I am the soul, the ever-flowing consciousness. It’s impossible to own or have that. I can only have the falsely formed identity around myself. Then it’s not a loss… It’s just a wrong perception of being lost, it may happen when we are not clear about ourselves. Yet being in this kingdom of distorted mirrors takes a long time to put things and perceptions into place.

What I felt during that non-defined period of time is like carrying a heavy-weighted backpack (that soul was feeling) while navigating through the jungle of the “regular life on this planet”. And by “regular life” I mean the 3D - 4D “reality”. I tend to blame on my karmic manifestations but even not sure if that’s really karma playing this game anymore. Perhaps it’s a mix of everything – the soup made of leftovers from karma, intervention, distortions, mental programs. And so, I am constantly confronting that how it makes me feel and soften into it.

I feel I have lost my way of expression. No, not lost. I don’t feel a need in that expression anymore. I’m okay with holding everything for myself, containing within myself. There is enough capacity for that. Yet I felt to push slightly myself to write this down, and maybe to close this page and move onto the next page in the shift.

During that time I have been going through the “systemic” nonsenses – this is the only way I can describe it. I feel how all things to be done on the 3D plane squeeze my being into the small box.

The soul feels suffering from the limiting smallness of this physical world.

I do not fit in because I am much much bigger than what this limited world can present to me.

Every morning I have to ask myself – “where is my light?”

And when sitting in long enough meditations I may “explode” internally into the vastness of the cosmos! My consciousness literally flies away from all this small living on this earth and becomes one with an infinite space. I am surely part of that vastness. I am noBody.

I have the crystal clarity now that the life has nothing to do with WHAT and HOW THIS world is. I let it be the way it is created (just with a continuous questioning by whom). The life is about KNOWING MYSELF within and without this world. That‘s all it is.

I will not ask for forgiveness from this world when I feel it‘s time to head off to meeting my Bright Light. But I will remain in my own forgiveness.

Just felt to share where I am in my never-ending shift. And the sense of that vastness with this music video.

With all my cosmic love ❤️🙏

Asya