Dear Open ,

Phew that was powerful ! I am still processing a lot since the virtual retreat after going into a lot in the last few days. I have been aware that I had poverty consciousness for a long time . The explanation that it's ' lack of trust in the Universe 'never really resonated with me because I like to think I am extremely trusting . And yet I could often discern a lack in my thoughts . After the visualization ,I was guided to see how I hide my truth to fit into the construct of my marriage . It has been a hard few days while I have processed and tried to soften into the deep resistence I feel . I have as Open describes it either capitulated ( passivity ) or gone the opposite route and straight up rebelled when there has been a significant difference of opinion. This time ,with some effort I have let things just be in a mess between us rather than be in a rush to resolve by using either of the strategies . I feel that the breaking off old ties has greatly helped me in this regard .

I have used the technique you have described and both felt into the underlying Fear that drives this interaction as well as opened up the neurobehavioural pathways with breath. The Fear seems like a mass around my neck throttling me. Funnily enough ,I felt hands strangling me a while ago in meditation as well.( What was that ? )

Synchronously today ,as I was sitting with and trying my best to be one with the feelings ,I attended a meeting to contribute stories to three books all that have really groundbreaking content .

Thank you so much for the virtual hand holding . It has taken me deeper for sure !

Lots of love and light ,

Megha