Vimal, your statement 'fuck this, ill have some bananas' made me giggle also because I can resonate with the 'fuck this' attitude, ha ha! ;) I find value in the 'fuck this' as well as in the 'staying with', so the tendency is to explore both depending on when they arise and the conditions. Yes, I understand the feeling that one has failed if one does not 'conform'/'is disciplined' with the plan/intention etc. Maybe the invitation here is to explore just that, the feeling of failure.

Going for healthy satisfaction with intermittent fasting as a creative engagement of self discovery that has no fixations (e.g. conforming or not) indeed I vote for this too! Like you say:

Anyway regarding the fasting i think its important to find what works for me rather than copying others. Like any other thing fasting is an area where im able to see my attachment with outcome and perfection. So like you say, its also an opportunity to work with myself rather than a means to get anywhere.

Its so interesting you talk about 'perfection' because the human experience we all have - either we want it or not - is not about being perfect, its about being prone to imperfections, about seeing and embracing imperfection. Tough call indeed for everyone! And the funny thing is that with that attitude you are 'getting somewhere' naturally, back to presence and the divine connection where it all came from and already there right now. So, the inquiry I find in my experience is: How can I open up to being available and undefended - to connect - in face of inner and outer imperfections? The mind will find so many reasons why to disconnect and the heart closes down.

There is a Zen saying - which I discovered only yesterday! - that goes like:

To realise the Absolute is not yet Enlightenment

Because the absolute/divine/presence can be its own fixation just like the 'imperfect' relative humanity. Then one tends to deny the 'humanity' with its 'imperfections'. I do have a tendency for this particularly when it comes to the suffering in the world. But Im inquiring that we are all here, in my view, to realise that there is no separation between the absolute divine and the human/relative and how to embody this. That doesn't mean I accept the atrocities going on in the world but I ask how can I engage and be open with this so as to act from the embodied felt sense of the absolute/presence/divine/Spirit etc etc. A lifetime journey indeed - many lifetimes for me :)

Open talks about the non-duality bubble for example in more detail here, which I find very useful:

https://www.openhandweb.org/The_Flowing%20_Path_of_Enlightenment_and_th…

I see what you say here as an example of being connected and being available/surrendered to your immediate experience of 'imperfection' (as I shared above) - very cool:

I had to laugh opposed to my usual frustration because it was clear how i was manifesting it. After a while i think i was able to expand around it and consider it as just an experience , a sensation like hunger for example.

Oh thank you, it was a very beautiful experience and at the same time extra- very ordinary, very simple in its quality. There can be big breakthroughs at times and also many gradual, gentle ones. I have lots of gradual gentle ones that at times have culminated to big ones. Mostly gentle steady ones. From what I have experienced and importantly, what I have read and heard from others who are consistently connected with the divine/presence within, is that both - sudden and gentle - are part of the process and equally significant. I find this enlightening :)

<3 <3