Hi Open,

It's great to connect with you too ❤️

Indeed I appreciate her soul qualities. She is very open, empathic and honest and I feel our connection is very authentic. Above all I know this connection is divinely given by the universe and synchronicties click on from time to time like playing the right track on sterio at the right time. I feel the purpose much more than the egoic desires at those times. We both have common issues like beauty for instance. I have also taken several risk of telling my truth without exploding the connection like this one. And as far as I can see it has only helped in deepening the connection. The problem we have is that its a distant connection and we are only given to meet rarely and this is reason for lots of uncertainty. And I ask what would happen to the relation finally if we are physically not attracted at all. Last time was amongst family and their judgements and fixed opinions and maybe this was the cause of my on fixation on physical looks. I fall into the trap of comparing her with others and I know I only do this because I compare myself with others. This again stems from a feeling not being enough and perfectionism and the need to belong to the world and its ways. Between the family gathering I saw a black child outside my gate and we smiled and waved and at that instant I knew he was me when I was a child. Because I had some hurt as a child because of colour and maybe I'm seeing this in the relationship. This was not a problem at all when we were on our own away from all the watchful eyes. At that time I was far more immersed in the connection between and the deeper play to give importance to the looks.I don't ofcourse say this as a problem to be resolved because I can see how the soul flows even through all this fixation and how it's divinely given for both of us. This knowing creates a difference. I has this limited view that I'm only following the flow when I'm in my grace and expanded and thus always trying to grab this state. But lately this view are also challenged because I can see how actions and words taken from when I'm constricted also finally comes together in one piece.
Yes I can see how the implants are connected to this fixation on external beauty. It's not just in looks but also other outcomes in creativity etc.

Vimal 🙏