Hi Open,

thank you for your reflection and questions. I came to give an answer and reading your message now again, 'heartfelt conviction' stands out. I noticed how the energy differs when it's 'hell yeah' vs. when it's just 'maybe'. That then opens space for mind's compromising and dissipates the warrior energy. But it also invites me to work more with finding aligned expression of how to keep it 'hell yeah' but do not get too rigid in it. It's really a mastery to find the right alignment in these two polarities.

I had many answers coming up from your first question but the most prominent one was how could I make this commitment more consistent. What I accomplished on this reset was a huge success for me, no doubt. Yet I tend to be able to make these explosive bursts of warrior commitment but then often get lost right after it's finished. So I am exploring how to bring this commitment to everyday life.

It's nice to unleash warrior on a much anticipated reset but can I unleash the warrior on random Tuesday afternoon?...

So I did feel to go for another round last Sunday to Wednesday... And it was much more brutal (internally). It was more in the energy of 'maybe', so even the preparation wasn't a fully committed one and the ritualisation part was not so deep. Which would show in the process. This time I also felt like there is no one else doing it but me, so I felt very alone and doubts were creeping in all the time - 'Why should I even do it?'. This was reflected in my bow guided meditation file not working and I also didn't have much of candle left, so I had to be guided through meditations by myself and in a complete darkness.

Throughout the whole process, there was a huge amount of activity on the mind level and I was also zoning out often. I felt I am not fully grounded and present. Since getting your reply above, I have had hundreds of thoughts throughout my week on how I am writing this reply which is just getting fucking ridiculous at this point (and here I am, writing something completely else than planned)...

I remember third day's morning I was feeling very unmotivated and zoning out from the idea of going to the cold creek. After some more intense process through dragon breathing there suddenly arised this feeling of stoicism and acceptance - 'I am going to the creek now, however painful it will be, and there is no discussion about it.' This felt very peaceful and important.

What was also coming out much more these days was rage. It was often directed towards the fact that I decided to do another round of reset. Like a child having a tantrum because it has to do something uncomfortable. It tends to also bubble up when I can't calm the mind down. So I feel it's coming from some wounded part which wants to hold to any intentions and control.

Anyway, although finishing this one felt more like a bittersweet victory, a lot has been uncovered and explored deeper. This time I made my coffee ceremony in the tree circle in the forest which was again a nice experience, this time I got visited by a squirrel. I've been contemplating a lot about 'sacredness', how much it can add to one's life and make any moment extraordinary. We (generally as a civilisation) turned eating into nothing more than an unconscious fueling of physical calories into a dead disconnected piece of meat while on top of that doing something else. How different that is from making every single eating a sacred ritual! And that can be brought to any moment of life, now I see that better.

There was also double rainbow after evening's rain.

Yesterday evening, I had a nice closure to the process which gave me more direction on how to work with my mind. Thanks to coffee ceremony, I was lying in bed for FOUR hours being unable to stop thoughts or even close my eyes. I noticed there was tightness coming from an intention of needing to wake up early in the morning and the experience felt like torture. Until I decided to let go of any intention on how the morning should look like and on what I need to do now. I even let go of the need to close my eyes (it literally hurt doing so). The experience then became exciting. Seeing the room for a first time like that - in complete darkness, enjoying new shapes and sensations. Enjoying physical sensations of having the benefit of lying for hours in a bed while being fully conscious and not sleeping. The mind was still overactive, so any time I engaged the thoughts, it turned back to torture - so then I softened again. I was working like that in cycles and I feel it's a very important reflection on how to soften the mind. (Also thanks to Dragonflower, remembering your comment from yesterday helped me in crucial moment to break the rigidity of 'night means sleep').

To finish this, I would also want to share what I feel is connected to this whole process. After my first round of reset, I finally got to finishing entrance to my current house:

I am definitely making this three-day 'reset' a regular thing and bringing aspects of it more into my everyday life. And to answer your second question Open about being the Samurai of the Shift - hell yeah I'm set!!