I'm with you too Marije - and that's gteat advice Megha

It's clear you're breaking down the fixed identity small self, that has rigid mental ties into the old reality. When you start to break through this, you come more into the presence. It often feels like you 'don't know who you are anymore'. You'll likely often have heard me say, "I don't know who I am until something arises in me". This is the fluid dance of the liberated soul as it starts to come through.

This breaking down of the false self, the 'death of the ego', can be very unsettling at times. They key thing is just to let go, don't need the moment to go any particular way, or result in any tangeable outcome for the moment. Just let the feeling of open spontaneity ground in your being. Just allow it to be. Then start to go with the impulses from there.

It's all cool!

Open