today i felt so strong and I wanted to go walk and went to the local river a very beautiful spot. Right outside my house was a beautiful fluffy white feather stuck in a bird poo :) and I thought wow that's a mirror that the angels are with me and I am learning even when I feel I am "shit". I walked and every few hundred yards there were groups of fluffy white feathers. I sat a the river and I started to feel grief welling up. Grief that my parents have gone and the realisation that they were two of my best friends my soul mates even my grans/granddads/uncles etc I felt I could feel some sort of ray or vibration that threads through my family and relatives. I had the feeling of well who supports me now - who do I go to when I need a hug etc and then I realised how close nature was to me. The butterflies were flying very close and the colour of the flowers was beautiful and birds were coming closer than before. I saw a sea bird and it was hovering looking down at a point (I guess a fish) in the river. I heard "we've got you". It felt like a "growing up" somehow :)