Hi,

This article is strongly synchronistic and helpful for me and I feel like sharing bits of my recent experience. I’ve been feeling the toroidal energy flow quite strongly since our last gathering this month. Few days ago, I found a golden coin with an image of a toroid and a letter "M" at its center. When I look at it I feel my energy strengthening and swelling out.

All this shifted my consciousness and activated an old, massive karma, an issue that’s rooted in childhood (and beyond) and that is touching other distortions like a gigantic root. It’s always been derailing and energy draining for me. It took the center stage recently and my heart is stirring (but not hurting) and the third eye feels wide open, like a stretched rubber band.

The universe provided a person in my life that pulls ALL the strings related to the issue and what a lesson that is! This person also shows me new ways of being by reacting in new ways to my patterns. At times I feel like I’m drowning, grasping for air, panicking, even throwing internal tantrums. There are also moments when I manage to slow down enough to have a strong sense of the energy flow from myself outwards. It seems to be forming my reality and then circling back to me, and again outwards. What a beautiful dance it is! It doesn’t last, but I’m able to carry the flavor of this experience for quite a while. When I’m aware of this toroidal energy flow, there is only love and compassion behind the story and I am the only actor on this holo-deck. This momentary shift of perspective enables me to glimpse at the mechanics behind the drama. What a construct! It doesn’t feel like a part of me, but there are still chords of attachment that want to be let go before this construct flows away. They are so ancient and I’m happy I can see them better now.

I sat with the fear related to my issue lately and I saw a face of an angry animal showing its sharp teeth, then the image subsided and was replaced with a white lily. I know there is something so beautiful and pure that is wanting to be revealed if I could only get acquainted with the monster. And I will!

Last night, I had a dream and in it I was chased by a grizzly bear. I run from it, but I wasn’t afraid of it. Seems like perhaps the fear is not as strong, but the conditioning is still in place. When I say “not as strong” I mean I’m not in a panic, just slightly terrified.

I’m also getting quite a bit of insight into how I allow myself to be derailed. The moment I’m not fully conscious, I allow the opposing forces to re-route my energy. I feel the thoughts being inserted and how they play on my distortions taking me into daze-filled states. It leaves me tired, confused or numb. I also noticed many people walking around and functioning while in that daze. I’m strongly invited to be vigilant and aware of my energy all the time. If I can stay sturdily in my energy even just for few hours, I feel so much more clarity and joy.

The energy flow in my torus is strengthening and is unwinding the karmic layers with a new speed and depth. At times, there seems nothing more important than to align with the natural flow of things. It manifests as a right action that arises faster than the judgment. I'm feeling a magnetic pull and a yearning to flow back into the ocean and dissolve in it, become it.

With love,

M.