So beautiful! I love the analogy of training the vines, Erica.

It made me think that if we don’t tend our garden, our neural circuitry, then something/somebody-else probably will. We are trained from very early on how to feel and what to be. We then forget we have the freedom of choice in every moment, and we so often give it up. Perhaps it is because we’ve been led to believe there is no choice or there is a choice between A and B only?

I’m in my garden, digging deep, plowing through pain, staying with it as long as it needs me to, no hurry, no shortcuts. I’m choosing to soften into the pain, get acquainted with it, be with it. No rush. It’s worth it. And it melts my heart to feel that the Universe is with me every step of the way. It is so intimately close, whispering into my ear I sometimes feel its warm breath. It's that tangible.

I went to the park today to feel into a sense of being trapped by an old bundle of beliefs. I heard a struggle near the dirt path… a snake caught a bird. The bird was resisting, still fighting to stay alive. This made me sick to my stomach. I felt like the bird, having no choice, fighting a losing battle. My legs became shaky and I had to sit on a bench and softened into the fear, the defeat, the resignation as well as I could.

I don't know how long I was sitting there, but eventually something switched in the consciousness. I felt slightly different, kind of lighter and maybe even ok with the situation. I looked up. There was a long cloud in the sky and it carried an uncanny resemblance to a snake head with an eye, mouth and scales. Whoa! Then a group of cheerful birds took off and were flying between me and the snake-cloud. To me this meant, the snake (the perceived threat) was an illusion. But I am real! It was the resistance that hurt the most. This new awareness anchored me into something profound, the universal truth perhaps, and I remembered the words of an old Sensei: “if you want to move me, you have to move the Universe”.

Each time we stay present and soften into what wants to arise, we create a new way of being and are anchored deeper into the Universe. This way we also retrain our neurons and their synapses. And wherever there is awareness, there is free will. The distortions live in the subconscious. They pull the invisible strings in the shadows of our existence, engaging same old neuro-pathways.

As long as there is blood flowing in our veins we can make a commitment to claiming our power back. The opportunity to be present with the current narrative, to flood it with awareness and reclaim our free will is always here. Be patient, be present, break free. It’s time.

M.