"Sent up the swanny for $9.99 with a big out-board motor"

Too funny. And it hits the mark smack dab in the middle. Bull's eye.

"So are you ready yet? Are you ready to throw away all those crutches - all those books and DVDs that are only delaying the inevitable?"

I've tossed the books and DVD's, but throwing away the crutches may be a bit premature haha!