Hello!

Martin! Thank you for sharing your resonance with this exploration =). Great how you are able to sit in the middle space of observing AND feeling. Amazing how we all benefit from sharing our experiences!

For me getting clear about what surrender really means has been pivotal, as I have misunderstood it for many years as essentially dissolving any desire of my own so that I would dissolve the patterns of the ego. It's only fairly recently that I see the distortion in this understanding and am now working with just constantly softening inside to a place where I can really feel my own energy and stay open energetically to all that is occurring, but THEN tuning into how I am feeling to respond and looking at the motivations for that response - not just accepting and not just standing my ground...but feeling for the response that would best serve my soul...this is still grey for me...so for now I am just continuing to feel inside every moment. An interesting shift has occurred inside where I use to feel me somewhere up higher in the back of my head...especially in that witness place - though I was observing, I wasn't feeling anything in the moment...just mentally choosing what I "knew" to be the most spiritually "correct" response. Now, I have been feeling me IN the body which is such a different feeling! It's like I have actually dropped down through my chest, belly and pelvis...funny to observe the difference and wonderful to feel more in general! This increase in feeling is helping me to feel where I am essentially totally dropping the sense of feeling me inside and letting the feel of the other fill the whole internal space. As soon as I notice that, I remember to keep an anchor into myself.