One of the unexpected, out of the blue things that happened to me on my path is that I, a Phd student, doing a research in chemical physics, was brought to leave that life and go study how to be a 'fitness coach'.

As a part of the studies, I kinda had to workout hhh and I found myself in the gym, holding the weights, confused what the hell is going on and why am I here. There was a great surprise waiting for me :-)

There I was, lifting the dumbbell, isolating the movement, by the book, bringing it to perfection, watching the rhythm, controlling my breath, and then something happened. I was really feeling it, the muscle working, as if I could feel the fibers. Everything collapsed into that simple thing, elbow flexion with a dumbbell, that took me to a place where breath and motion are one, and I stood there, in the gym, surrounded by the sweaty and struggling guys, in a room full of peculiar energies, and I was disappearing in the action, and felt frozen in the moment. I fell into a state of presence through 'pumping iron'!

And since then I feel very humble about everything. This was a really powerful way to show me that the universe's ways can sometimes be totally unpredictable. I am hunting these things, I was doing yoga for years, in an attempt to 'catch the wave', and here I was in this least likely place, falling into myself.

I didn't find it, it found me.

I share this, because there were two realizations there. One is that anything can take me through the layers into the truth, just as anything, as spiritual as it might look, can hold me stuck in some identity, in some shadow, forever. It is not even so important what I am doing, but more important how, 'who' is in action, and where my awareness is directed.

And here the second realization is that trying to get there, to be real, to find myself, doesn't help. I can just surrender in trust to whatever I am brought to experience, be and do, and be ready, that anything can happen... And this is when finally my awareness can be released from this crazy focus from getting somewhere, be something (real or not), and go to the places where it wants to go, like into a muscle in my gym experience, and God knows where it will take me from there.

This was one of the many things I have learned during my 'how to be a fitness coach' studies. I could never even think about what will happen to me there and what great help it will be on my journey in my inner world. I just can never know what benevolence is up to hhh

And in general, I really resonate with this article, and feel it on my skin, how important it is to work with the body, IN the body and through the body. It is really hard. Because when I meditate I can expand, and feel my own energy, my center. And then I open my eyes and I crashland into this denseness, confused, contracted and lost.

Reading it is a great reminder.
Thank you.

I wonder is there such a thing called deep consciousness eating. Recently I was very peculiar with the food. I begin to eat less and less forms of food, and find that previously I was tempted by taste, but now I as if feel the food, and most of what I am used to eat is suddenly irrelevant. I eat and feel the energy and its compatibility with my own energy.

Now I am thinking, anything can be 'deep consciousness' something... eating, showering, walking, living, anything that I am bringing my consciousness into.

Suddenly I know how I am meant to be here! I am actually meant to be everywhere, my consciousness from being convoluted and narrow should be everywhere, penetrating everything. This feels right. This felt right today in the morning with the curtains, after I opened my eyes after a meditation and these curtains were not in a conflict with my field, but part of it.

Deep consciousness life! I love it! :-)