There was someone in my life who I was holding on to with tightness.... I was empathically connected to this person who I was romantically involved with, and although this person was a drain to me, I thought that I was meant to keep trying to make it a healthy friendship. I realize now, that even within our platonic friendship I was desperate for this person to validate and love me. The connection that remained between us also confused me and made me feel like I was supposed to keep giving to that relationship.
On the last full moon during a spiritual circle I attend people were talking about letting go, and that relationship came to mind, and in that instance I noticed my resistance and tightness was about letting go and stopping the giving. I was scared to let go of it. That night I walked alone staring at the full moon and committed to stop feeding the relationship. When I was home I deleted his phone number and cut our social media ties. The week that followed felt like a gradual decompression and yesterday I had a very spiritual experience when I was walking outside... I felt freer and lighter than ever before in my life. I was free of not just the weight of other peoples expectations of me, but also free of what I expected and thought of myself. I was filled with a warm sense of well being, ... that no matter what happens in my life, or the result of the endeavours I am currently engaged in, I will still be me and will be OK, simply by virtue of being me. Since I let go, I no longer am struggling to be authentic in my interactions with other people... the fear is gone - though I am not sure before I would have called it fear - it is effortless for me now.

Although I still have some mental patterning, for example before doing tasks or making calls etc that normally would have been met with a huge amount of anxiety and resistance I will still have a thought like ... "oh no this is going to suck" but rather than feel that or experience fear or feed the thought, I just do the task or make the call with ease.

Not sure if this would be considered a gateway shift, but I definitely FEEL that there has been a definite permanent shift in my energy. Like more of myself is available to me and within my interactions with others now. SO excited for life, and feeling so amazingly OK with whatever is awaiting me in my future.

Thank You! The teachings here definitely facilitated the thinking that led me to identify a huge source of tightness in my life for what it was. The relationship as I see it now, was a result of my old way of trying to connect with people- through codependency, control, and people pleasing behaviour -- and letting go of my desire for this person to give me love has opened up my heart to receiving love from the people in my life and those I encounter everyday.