Hi, everyone!

Interesting stories that clears my mind more on this issue.
I've never felt myself spiritual but I can see what these gateways mean.

I've been going through these prosesses as long as I can remember. I've been outsider and observer most of my life and since I was child i remember seeing people doing wrong and hurt each other because of their egos and immediate needs. Theres always been an idealistic world and the world where people really live. This troubled me a long time and somewhere at age 16-18 I felt and concluded intellectually that there was no meaning for anything. Social norms and society was mostly based on a structure that had built over times of history. Its all Illusions of minds and people seemed to enjoy things I did have no value in.

For some time I wanted to leave society but couldnt find a way for it. So I integrated myself back to social norms. I didnt feel any better, cos I couldnt forget what I had felt and thought, but externally I did quite well despite of it. Inside I was building a base for a huge anxiousness and depression. I simply couldnt combine my internal world with the outside world.

Finally I was at the edge of ending my life and when I saw the real possibility to end my life, I burst to a laughter. I now cut the dependance on the social/society game I see all around. No need to take that game/play so seriously.

I still couldnt find a satisfying career or place in the world. I just drifted pointlessly almost a decade. Since 2007 I've been more and more interested whats going on in the world. 2008 I finally knew I was going wrong way and few years ago started studying social sciences. This spring I lost my believe in my path and had tremendous existential crisis again.

Now when I've felt content for few weeks, I realize I was studying because my egoistic goals and that it wasnt a good base. I had based my world mostly on logic and reasoning. Now at the end of my last crisis I burst into tears thinking about the world again. I realized that my path couldnt be based on my ego. All this I had known for long but I didnt do it right for my self. My studies are no long for myself but for everyone and everything. I've been bursting to tears during last few weeks more that I had during the decade before it.

How does it sound? I dont know if going through gateways needs an understanding about them or the concepts of the soul or karma. I just saw similarities with this program and the ascention of my inner world during my lifetime.

Above is just the short story of my changes and maybe something big was forget out of it. Anyway I think I just passed the second gateway if possible. Sure I understand the needs of the other gateways too but I cant honestly say Im through any other of them. First one I believe went through somewhere in puberty.

Joel