Hi Rich,

Your reply contains a lot which connects to what I've been meditating on for especially the past two days. Looking back over the past year, to summarize it very broadly, I have basically been expecting something to just show up out of the blue just because I was trusting and waiting. That's very bluntly, but to keep it concise that's what it comes down to. But when I look at the whole picture, there's a lot of other things that I hadn't taken into account.

Not having a job put me in a perfect position to integrate the incoming dragon energies without distraction which just 'happened' to be perfectly timed. I can't even imagine how I would have done that if I had to walk around in a corporate environment every day.

A year of freedom has shown me just how steadily and heavily repetitive daily activities numb the soul. In fact, to be completely honest, the past year has still been filled with a lot of repetitiveness which has shown me just how integrated that was and still is in my life. Even when I (intellectually) knew I was changing everything, I was (and am) still keeping 80-90% the way it was.

The panic resulting from almost being out of money has put me in a position to accept that this is how it is. I've had a good run for a year! Just doing what I liked. My art now fills my house but when I look at what I painted a year ago and what I'm working on now? There's an increase in skill that wouldn't have been possible if I had never given up my job.

Not many people have entered my life but a number has left, in all cases people that were not energetically aligned so basically, in that respect I should say things did get more aligned.

Instead of waiting for 'that break' where I would somehow be in the position to make it all happen, I am now looking at it as the year in which I worked on myself more than I ever did. I am no longer who I was a year ago and in that respect a goal has been achieved. I can volunteer at a local gallery to set up expositions. Saturday I found out there's an artist collective placing old cigarette vending machines around the country where you can get random pieces of small art and they are still looking for people to sign up. Only days before, I saw 5x5cm and 7x7cm canvasses at the local art store and bought some to see what I can do on such a small scale. Another art centre which I technically knew existed for years but had forgotten until last weekend. I looked them up and they are in the midst of reorganizing leading to about twice as much space as they have now. I have sent an email about the possibilities and am now waiting for a reply.

So by letting go, small things are showing up that may lead to nothing or who knows what. I am taking care not to fixate on these options and see them as things that need to work out. Any of these not working out may still lead to meeting someone who leads to meeting someone leading to meeting someone, or perhaps just meeting new people that uplift me in another way.

Indeed the most important lesson here is to let go of what an aligned life is. I had a preconceived idea and was thus judging myself (and the support) based on an inertia that only exists from that perspective.

Thank you for the reflection and well wishes :)