Your question, Open, 'What is your deepest wound?' has inspired a lot of exploration for me over the past couple of days.

I think for me it's feeling alone and abandoned. My dad, whom I was very close to, passed away a couple of years ago and strangely it was not the bereavement itself which I struggled with, but the awareness that everyone and everything which I had ever loved and who had ever loved me were no longer in my life. Thankfully, I have some wonderful friends, but somehow it doesn't feel the same as having someone 'special' in my life. I have done a lot of work on this and while the sense of aloneness is better than it was (fortunately I enjoy my own company), I cannot deny that it sometimes feels an uncomfortable place to be, even now.

Exacerbating this but, I think related, is the fact that my sense of connection to my soul, my team and my sacred ground of being comes and goes. Sometimes the connection feels quite strong and other times I can't seem to find it at all. That's the only time it really feels lonely (aloneness and lonely are two different things for me). My head knows I am part of the One so I 'shouldn't' need anything else, but when I can't connect to my essence that knowledge doesn't ease the pain much.

I have an awareness of one, or possibly two past lives which feel relevant (I'm not sure if they were the same life or not). One of these felt like I was within a machine with no sense of humanity (I know humanity is the wrong word, but it's the best I can find) and that felt repulsive - like finding a big slug in your shoe. The other memory is of being trapped within something (machine, suit or something similar holding me there) and having no sense of 'I' or my soul, just an awareness of black nothingness that felt eternal.

I keep working with all this brings up, but exploring the question has made me join the dots and realise that these are probably related and that this is probably my deepest wound.

Namaste

Pam