Hi Eric,

Deep explorations for sure!

I'd invite you to explore the nature of the distorted father figure pressurising you some more. And also the feeling of disempowerment. It could well be that there are conflicting movements of consciousness happening.

When people connect up to and start responding to the Toroidal Flow, (which is really the free flow of soul in life) on the one hand it will feel like expansion and freedom. However, the more soul you integrate into the dynamic, there will come a point where the soul starts to take over. And the ego will feel this as a loss of power, because it's losing control. So there's an invitation to explore...

Is it the ego that's steadily losing power to the soul (and wider Universe/father) and moving toward its demise?

It's possible also that there is karma around a distorting (Opposing) influence. So this could be being activated too - the conflicting energies of which I speak.

My sense is to work through your meditations to connect into the Void of presence with total surrender. Especially to let go of control and fear - let go of being controlled. Meaning if you find yourself controlled, then surrender into and deeply through that. Then to pick up the soul's flow afterwards.

See how that goes.

Open